How do you truly see yourself as a leader? Do you see yourself based on what others say you are, other people’s affirmations, comments, validations or you see yourself differently? What is your personality mold built upon?
Many people see themselves through perceptual filters rather than the reality of who they truly are. In the process, they lose their identity, value, regard and sometimes their personality. The following ten (10) ways are helpful in building a healthy self-esteem in any circumstance of life.
- Develop self-directed positive advocacy messages to challenge risky and adverse conditions. The self-esteem of an individual is greatly affected by advocated messages constructed by ourselves or other people. Negative advocated messages put us down and make us remember our failures, inadequacies, poor looks, our health challenges and unfulfilled dreams. To build self-esteem, everyone must develop self-directed positive advocated messages. Look at yourself and feel good about God’s custom design, uniquely sent to the world to achieve a destiny. Engage in positive self-talk of your life, spouse and children through building courage in them to help them live out their inborn potentials. Positive self-talk usually creates the aura of possibilities and a mindset to go forward and attempt something new and different.
- Let your environment be filled with positively minded people. Nothing kills self-esteem like negative words spoken to depreciate a person particularly by ones’ family members, friends, co-workers, mentors and peers. The hurts of such unkind words create unforgiving and resentful attitude which kills liveliness. Everyone can make a choice of where and who he/she hangs out with. A friend who devalues you with cynical/critical comments, that puts you down is not a good company.
- Develop “I can do it spirit” and always vocalize it. Success may come after many attempts but the man in pursuit of success must never give up in the face of difficulties or adversity. The truth is that whatever the mind sets to pursue, a man can achieve. No man is ever defeated in the outside except he has been defeated in the inside. Many people fail not as a result of difficult assignments they face but because their “I can do it spirit” was broken even before they began.
- Learn to be grateful for your uniqueness and endowment features. How do you feel when you stand in front of a mirror looking at yourself? What do you see, flabby hands, wrinkled face or a great shape? How thankful are you for your head even if you are bald? Many people criticize their physical bodies and features rather than appreciate and thank God for their shape and size. No matter your looks, there is someone out there whose total desire is your shape and size. A grateful heart will always carry a graceful body and looks.
- Exercise regularly and shape-up in a great way. Regular exercise is a great way of building one’s self-esteem. It helps one to care about his physical appearance and body shape. Although exercise helps one to lose weight, the greatest advantage to the body is increased flexibility, stamina and a firm body shape. It helps the mind to concentrate and focus on issues with great clarity.
- Do not use other people’s standards to judge your life. Low self-esteem people have suffered personality failures because of seeing themselves through other people’s lenses. They feel happy when others tell them to be happy and are sad whenever they are told so. They never score themselves excellent marks until others say they have done excellently well. High self-esteem people judge and measure their accomplishments based on their own terms and values. Even when they have not done well, they do not equate failure (which is an event) with their own life or personality.
- Always be creative with your appearance, dress to surprise yourself and everyone. High self-esteem people use self-presentation skills to convey a positive message about their true inner identity. It has been said that the way you dress is the way you will be addressed. So, dress cute, simple and charming. A colour mix that suits and blends well which projects the innate positive character of the person will add candor and liveliness.
- Take your time to deliver in every of your actions, always take charge. Your self-esteem will be high if you act calculative and slowly, taking full control of your actions. When giving a speech or being interviewed, do not rush. Learn to select your words and focus on making eye contact with the audience. Apply voice modulation and deliver slowly with maximum impact.
- Give your life a meaningful purpose. Purpose gives direction and a destination to life. A life purposely lived is a life of esteem. You therefore need to find a life purpose that aligns with your skills, gifting and natural endowments and pursue this passionately. For a purpose to have impact, it must bring positive change to you, your environment and people around you.
- Learn to stay away from people, events and places that reinforce negative messages that depreciate you. Check out your room, picture collections or archives and remove items that reinforce negative messages that affect your happiness. Get close to people who remind you of your attainments and who celebrate your accomplishments. Don’t be a fool and let no one put you down.