Fathering Leadership Releases People to Healing and Activation in Their Gifting
How frustrating it is to see those we lead not overcoming their challenges and moving into their callings. They so desperately need someone who can guide and direct them.
The whole world is looking for a father.
The more your leadership style is fathering, the more you will reproduce overcomers.
Leaders who easily bear with the failings of the weak and express covering love, will see much fruit. These are the ones who know how to call people into true discipleship.
I believe that only fathering leaders will truly bring people to maturity and destiny.
This article will consider the challenges of fatherlessness and the 4 characteristics of fathering leaders.
Current statistics point to a church that is not receiving sufficient fathering:
- 50% of ministers starting out from Bible school will not last five years.
- Only 1 out of every 10 ministers will retire as a minister.
- The divorce rate in the church is the same as in the world.
- 50% of Christian men aged 18-24 visit a porn site at least once a month.
- 4 out of every 10 non-church going Americans (37%) said they avoid church because of negative experiences they’ve had there or with church people.
Results of Fatherlessness
When a person has never been mentored by a fathering leader, they have no path to follow towards maturity and towards their destiny.
When there’s been no father in your life:
- How do you feel secure, that you are loved unconditionally? So you battle condemnation.
- How do you develop life skills for walking in healthy relationships? So you battle let downs and rejection.
- How do you discover what your natural talents are and how you can develop them?
Only fathers impart healthy emotional skills and life skills for daily living.
Many people attend seminars on leadership, church planting, personal productivity, etc., and often good skills and systems of implementation are given at these events.
Yet, if the attendee himself lacks the emotional health to put these skills into action, no fruit is produced. There will be no sustainable change.
Characteristics of Fathering Leaders
So how are fathers able to bring people to maturity?
- They walk in maturityand integrity.
Spiritual fathers/mothers are differentiated. They don’t get entangled in the immature behavior of others. Mature leaders are grounded in God’s love and don’t take things personally.
Because they have so deeply worked through their own heart issues with God, fathering leaders are very free and open to be led by the Holy Spirit in how they respond to others. They live in a place of rest and they display the fruits of the Spirit in their relationships.
- They have greatpeople skills.
Spiritual fathers/mothers walk in covering love toward others. Because they are not easily triggered by the immature behavior of others, they are able to express God’s unconditional love. They communicate value and express a love that is available and covering toward the faults of others.
When a person is acting out or acting without wisdom, a fathering leader’s first thought is not to quickly put up a boundary, but to see the person’s heart. “What’s the love need there?” they ask themselves. “How can I draw that person into dialogue in a way they feel safe to open up about the struggles they are facing?” Boundaries come as a last resort, and even then, they are expressed in a loving and valuing way.
- They know how to mentor.
These leaders know how to give away to others what they’ve learned from their own experiences in an empowering way. They are able to tune into where others are at and what they are able to receive according to where that person may be in their learning process.
This awareness of the other person’s heart enables the fathering leader to be skillful in how he applies his mentoring.
- They create an atmospherefor growth.
Finally, fathering/mothering leaders create an atmosphere where growth can take place. They create an environment that feels safe and secure, not condemning and judgmental. People know they are loved and accepted around them and that it is okay to make a mistake or fail. This is an environment of dialogue, community, and loving accountability.
Healthy Families Raise Healthy Kids
Whether you lead a 3-year-old, a congregation or a group of employees, fathering leadership empowers people with the skills and the emotional support to grow.
Everyone is a leader at some level. Everyone influences someone.
There is a path for you to be a fruitful and reproducing leader.
Have you ever considered where you are on your learning curve in becoming a fathering leader?